The 161 Labs Forums

[cef8020]

To all the members I have offended in the past:


Well, I guess there's a lot I have to explain now. First, to all of those people I made empty threats to, or was very rude to, I'm sorry. I just want to let you know that I have never been in a physical figt with someone, not have I ever tried to maliciously hurt them. A few of you are right when you think I'm going to go postal, but you'll never see it. Instead of taking my anger out on others, I take it out on myself. Not in a physical manner, but more like emotional abuse towards myself. That's how I deal with things. After all, it is my life and I live it my way, wether it be the right way or not.

As far as Chadis goes, I feel very sorry for the way people treat him. I can remember being treated like that in elementary and middle school when I had no friends. That's why I jumped on the bandwagon, and now I regret it. Some of the shit that people have done to him is way over the limit, and that includes me. I have a very high respect for him now and I think he does a lot more for the corps than you all give him credit for. He's been the driving force for the console and the MDT, something that Justin was apparently working on (no offense Justin, I'm just seeing results now. I have no idea what you did and I'm going by what I heard). So, I believe it's about time to lay off the Chadis and Bob jokes. As far as "Nyah's" and "Chadwick's" go, I don't think that is being malicious, and anyways, you can't change the world in just one day.

Dave. Now here's a weird topic. Not only is he a fellow ambulance member, but he's also a Crew Chief, the president of the corps, and my Resident Aide. I see many different things than most of you would from Dave, and the same goes for him seeing my personal life. I regret blaming him for things that I have no explainiation as to where they have come from. It's bad habit, and I need to stop it. I think that if he were being malicious, I would definatley know it. But now I fear that I have pushed him to that level. Dave is a cool guy, but he also has his own ways of dealing with things. Although I sometimes don't agree, I trust him, especially if it's in any aspect of EMS. He has a lot of experience doing this, and I think we have a lot to learn from him.

Now on to Cyrus. Although we have had a lot of differences in the past, I have been seeing a very good change in him lately. That was up until last night. For some reason he seems to be the kind of person that believes in self-betterment from the pain of others, and to a further extent than most all of the members. I realize that I have to grow up and in a few aspects, I am like him. And that right there is enough to make me want to change. Sorry Cyrus, but you need to realize that you do have potential, and you can live up to tht potential. But in order to do that, you need to get your morals and actions heading in the right direction.

And about Sean. What can I say but "He's Irish." I mean no offense to this, but it's in his blood to act a little agressive. I should not have thretened him last night, and it's only because he was acting kind of mean to me yesterday, or atleast that's what I thought. I have no real problems with Sean, and he is also bringing a lot to the corps. My first time training with him was nothing like you all described. I spend a week fearing about that shift, and I shouldn't of. It was probably one of the better traning shifts I've had while being a member here. However, a few weeks later I took shift with him and Cyrus, and it was a totllay different attitude in the rig. Now, I understand that everyone has they're own personal problems, but m I seeing a correlation here? Hmmmm . . . . .

What about DuMont. Oh, I'm sorry. Some of you probably don't know who I'm talking about because of all the dumb names you give him. Granted, some of them are funny, but there is a line. This is not a fraternity and we don't have to give people stupid names. And you know what, I would rather be around him if something were to go wrong on campus, than a lot of other members. Give him credit for once, he does know a few things. But also in relation to that, he doesn't know everything. Use you common judgement when he tells you things and realize that real facts do come out of his mouth. And as with Cyrus, I was givng him a lot of credit, well atleast up until last night.

And here's to Craig. He got the calm, cool and collected thing under control. If we took him as a role model, we'd all be better off. I'm sorry I brought him into this and I shouldn't have. That was my bad and apologize.

And I shouldn't have been as pissed at Todd as I was, but I did ask him to sign me off personally. Actually, out of a majority of the mebers, Todd probably has the most to offer us personality wise. I've really never seen him get pissed at anyone, and he deserves the same credit as Craig for being cool, calm, and collected . . . . except when Diet Dr. Thunder and Rum is involved.

So I guess it's on to me now. I have had a lot of events in my life that have made me who I am today, and ome of them aren't easy for me to talk about. Realize that I was the kid in school that everyone else always picked on. I have spent a majority of my life dealing with bullies, jokes about me, and pure rudeness all of which were directed towards me. This is one one reason why I'm here. As with many other people, I want to go back to a high school reunion and be able to show them that despite their efforts, I survived and I'm better off than they are. This is why I take the opportunities to pick on others, but that is going to end now. I am not going to be malicious towards any other person just for self-betterment.

As far as my personal realtionships go, they are my relationships, and not yours. If you want to know exactly what is going on, then you can ask me personally. Just please don't take what other people say so damn seriously. RuthAnne is my friend and that's all she is. I don't have many male friends and I like it that way. Look at how you guys act. Do you think that I would pick friends like you? Not unless you changed signifigantly. I tried talking about my personal life with one of you, and look where it has gotten me. Because this individual knows, he has severe problems with me personally, or atleast that is what he says. Females are much better friends because they understand and care. This is why everyone thinks a have 30 different girlfriends, but I don't have one at this point. So that shows you just how much you know. As I said, there is a lot of things going on in my personal life that you have no idea about. And yes, that includes you too Dave.

So in conclusion, I am sorry to all of tose individuals I have hurt since I have become a member with the corps. I would like nothing other than starting with a clean slate and have the opportunity to really get to know you as people, not just fellow members. I can understand you hatred towards me at this point, and I know that one way or another this post will come back to haunt me. Tear it apart if you want to, and quote every insignifigant detail, but I understand that it is just your insecurity showing through. If you have any reason to "bash" me or make some sort of come back, I ask that you do one thing: SAY IT TO ME FACE TO FACE.


With this, I draw a close to this situation on my end . . .

[jetBlue]

well said. Good luck with everything.

-D

[cef8020]

Why thank you Dave.